broken hearted

over leaving third grade...really. I cried like for most of last week or fought back tears while in my new placement with middle schoolers.

The placement is really interesting and the students are mostly Chaldean/Arabic speaking or Japanese with a few Spanish speakers too. The Chaldean population is so lively and talkative while the Japanese students are really difficult to get to participate.

My supervisor observed me awhile back and told me that my language was really really strong and I feel like now that is my blessing and my curse. When faced with a classroom of students who know little to no English, my use of language makes me nervous. I find myself paranoid that I'm not going to make sense to them so I don't say anything and allow my colleague and my CT to do the talking. It's such a different experience for me here and kind of discouraging as I am also searching for jobs.

I just feel like I left my confidence in my third grade placement. Gosh I miss those kids. I get emails from some of them, complete with different colored fonts and an excessve number of exclamation points. I think I might visit on Friday. Although that might be pouring salt into the wound.

I'm debating about finishing up this extra endorsement this summer. It would mean class till the end of July (agh) and then *crosses fingers* I would be starting a job at the end of August...is that enough break? I could always finish these other classes next summer. Wah.

Oh dilemmas.